Emotions are the primary and most important expression of our desiring nature. When our desires are fulfilled, we feel calm and experience emotions from the pleasant end of the emotional spectrum. When a desire is unmet or something stands in its way, we feel tension and emotions from the uncomfortable end of that same spectrum.
Another word for this discomfort is suffering. It is the sum of all the painful emotions we try to push away because we don’t want to feel unhappy, sad, angry, scared, jealous, or inadequate. But this rejection is an unhealthy defence mechanism of the ego, one that turns the suppressed part of our experience into psychological or physical illness. To deal with emotional pain in a healthy way, we need emotional intelligence. The same is true for success in life, for which a high level of emotional intelligence is a key factor.
This Program teaches you how to raise your level of emotional intelligence and, in doing so, create the inner conditions needed for your desires to become reality.
As you work through it, you will often come across statements explaining that, from the perspective of emotional intelligence, a given “assignment of the day” is linked to practicing a specific skill. That is why I will outline the main groups of emotional-intelligence skills that you will be practicing.
- Emotional self-awareness
- Emotional self-regulation
- Inner motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
Each of these five core skill areas is made up of several sub-skills.
For example, emotional self-awareness means being able (1) to notice emotions at the moment they arise, (2) to name them accurately, and (3) to have a realistic self-assessment, which expresses itself as mature self-confidence.
Emotional self-regulation includes (1) the ability to hold back our impulsive reactions until we find the right time and way to express them. It also includes (2) the ability to delay gratification – patience. To do this, we need (3) a mindset of neutrality and impartiality.
Self-motivation is connected to what is called an “internal locus of control.” This means (1) that in pursuing our goals we do not depend on the support or praise of others but can find motivation within ourselves; (2) that we commit fully to what we do; and (3) that we don’t give up when challenges arise, because we have self-belief, optimism, and focus.
Empathy and social communication skills involve applying these same qualities to other people. This includes (1) being able to recognize and understand their emotions without judging them; (2) building healthy relationships by dealing with inevitable difficulties and challenges in constructive and creative ways (the skill of managing conflict); and (3) being able to motivate others to pursue their own goals when their internal motivation is weak (the skill of leadership).
Seeing emotional intelligence this way helps us understand why it is so essential. Everything mentioned above can be summed up in a single word: HEALTH. A person with high emotional intelligence has a healthy sense of self-worth, healthy personal boundaries, and healthy relationships – qualities that manifest as strong physical and psychological well-being.
Having a healthy relationship with our emotions is incredibly important. So, if you begin working with this Program, I encourage you to become almost obsessed with observing your own emotional reactions. Your emotions, understanding them and caring about them, will be at the centre of this Program from start to finish.
I believe that when you complete it and look again at the list of skills above, they will no longer feel like abstract concepts but practical tools you know from experience – tools you know how to use to create positive change in your life. You will already understand, not just intellectually but firsthand, why emotional intelligence is the key factor not only for our health but also for success in life.
- Read also: Emotional Intelligence and Success in Life – 10 minutes
