The key factor for the success of any endeavour is commitment. This is because the realisation of any desire inevitably includes a stage of hardship and trials. If a person is not 100% committed to achieving their goal, when they reach this stage, they will quit and give up. At that point, the desire to avoid suffering becomes stronger than the desire to see things through. And the mind, which has not yet learned to emancipate itself from the changing nature of desires, produces a number of explanations to justify giving up. This is like Aesop’s fable of the fox and the grapes, when the fox says that the grapes are sour rather than too high.
Hence, your very first assignment is twofold. Firstly, to explore your innermost desire – the one whose manifestation you would like to nurture through your psychological work during these 29 days. This means defining it clearly and telling yourself: “There, this is the most important thing I want to bring into my life.” Secondly, to explore how strong that desire is. Are you afraid that if things get hard, if the difficulties persist and you have to make a painful sacrifice, you will be tempted to give up? Is there even a one-percent doubt that this could happen? Because if there is doubt – even a minimal one – it will thwart things when the going gets tough. So it is good to be warned from the beginning: the seed grows into a flower only for those who are fully committed to nurturing it.
This assignment introduces the most basic duality, and your main practice throughout this Program is to become aware of it. This duality is created by the battle in our soul between opposing desires: on the one hand, the desire to get what we want; and on the other, the desire to receive what we want without suffering. It becomes clear that these two desires are in harmony only until things get hard. Unfortunately, the essential things in our lives always involve going through a stage of hardship. When this stage comes, these two desires – which have been in harmony up to this point – come into conflict, and this conflict creates tension.
Should we give up fulfilling our desires so that we feel the relief of resolving our inner conflict? Or should we persevere, even though we are struggling and full of doubts about whether we will make it and last until the end? Which of these two should we choose? Things become even more difficult if temptation appears, offering us a way to receive what we want easily. Will we resist this temptation? Or will we stay true to our moral values and our commitment, even when we struggle?
It is no coincidence that they say, “the devil comes dressed as everything you desire.” But he is not related to desire as such – only to the desire to avoid pain and to have an easy life. His role is that of the tempter who tests our moral strength. All desires are innocent; the only thing that connects them to the devil is the temptation to take the easy path, to avoid pain, and to give up before the end.
And we all know what the other path is – narrow and steep. It is the path of suffering, the crucifixion and the death of the ego, symbolised by the life of Christ and the road to Calvary. It is the path of “many are called, but few are chosen,” because not everyone has the mental strength to continue where others give up. On this path, we are crucified on the cross of opposing desires, and we have to hold this tension for a long time until a stable inner centre slowly begins to crystallise from it. The path of the creative synthesis of opposing desires within the centre of Self-consciousness is called “individuation” in Jung’s Analytical Psychology.
The irony is that the resistance to the desire for the easy path comes from a part within ourselves. It comes from our soul. The desire of the immortal part of us is different from the desire of our human ego. Unlike our empirical personality, which seeks pleasure and avoids pain, the soul’s desire to incarnate on Earth inevitably involves going through hardships and temptations. The development of moral endurance and the manifestation of the heroism inherent in every person are contingent upon walking the less travelled road.
This idea is presented beautifully in The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg, where the author describes the original creation of the soul as an empty vessel whose sole purpose was to receive Light from its Creator. But since the soul was created in His image and likeness, soon another, completely contrasting inner urge arose – the desire to give and to create. When this second desire appeared, the soul closed itself off from receiving easily (Kabbalah calls this “the Bread of Shame”). This is also the deeper reason why we face difficulties and pain – the resistance of the soul to receiving for free. The ultimate goal is to learn to be the cause of how we feel and to choose consciously how we react.
Yehuda Berg compares this desire to activating the DNA of God.
Although we all have the potential for godlikeness, this second desire – the soul’s urge to self-evolve – is not awakened in everyone. This explains why some people’s lives seem easier and less dramatic. It may appear that they adapt to the world effortlessly and suffer less from being different. Although they, too, have struggles, they lack that inner factor that makes one feel constantly dissatisfied, unable to adapt, overly sensitive, and deeply connected to humanity and the values that sustain its well-being.
In Jung’s Analytical Psychology, this inner factor of spiritual development is called the “awakened individuation impulse.”
The activation of this impulse in the human psyche means that the source of one’s experiences lies in the deeper layers of personality (the so-called “collective” or “objective” psyche). Along with this, the scenario of trials is activated – the agonising suspension between irreconcilable opposites, the passage through loneliness and isolation, and the subordination of ego-desires to the transpersonal will.
At the level of emotional intelligence, this means that the time has come to break out of childish reactive behaviour and learn to master our emotional reactions. In this way, we gain the freedom to choose when and how to express our emotions. We find the inner motivation to keep going even when things get tough. We accept life’s limitations while continuing to strive to overcome them through our own efforts, patience, and discipline. We become emotionally independent individuals capable of building meaningful relationships with others.
In short, we grow and mature, and from emotionally dependent children, susceptible to the whims of our various desires, we develop a new inner part – the wise parent. Then, although we will not always give our “inner child” (a metaphor for our desiring nature) what it wants, we will always give it our love. We will stop judging it; we will make an effort to understand it, have faith in it, and support it in moving forward on its path, overcoming its fears and laziness.
At the level of spiritual intelligence, the challenges are essentially the same, but their intensity becomes exponentially higher. It is like being the parent of a mentally challenged child who is hyperactive, emotionally unstable, has severe difficulties in adjustment, and is often extremely shy and inexplicably anxious. Our emotional reactions to pain, fear, anger, or depression are greatly exaggerated – they are too intense, often completely irrational, and do not correspond to what is happening. In spiritual literature, this is called “rebirth,” and moving through it is an enormous challenge. However, if we can endure the trials, a day comes when we understand the meaning of the words: “The Father and I are One” (John 10:30).
In conclusion, both emotional and spiritual intelligence refer to the development of the qualities of a psychologically mature person. The ability not to give up in the face of adversity, but to persevere where others give up, refers to the third group of skills in emotional intelligence – self-motivation. At the level of spiritual intelligence, this same quality is called “commitment” and “faith.”
At first glance, this may appear to be a commitment merely to achieving a goal, but upon second glance it becomes clear that it is a commitment to the processes of inner growth. It is a commitment to being honest with ourselves, remaining true when the going gets tough, owning our responsibilities, and not turning away from pain.
It is the commitment that transcends the conflict between the desires of the ego and the desires of the soul, between the desire for an easy life and the desire not to run away from pain and to overcome ourselves.
We arrive at commitment by shifting our resistance: instead of resisting pain and limitations, we begin to resist our resistance to pain and limitations. When we know that painful feelings and difficult emotions are also part of life, we make the conscious decision to experience them too. Then, the desire to be whole – to reconcile the dark and bright sides of life into one – becomes stronger than the desire for ease and pleasure.
Jung’s well-known statement that “every psychic advance of man arises from the suffering of the soul” refers to this second type of resistance.
So, the first part of your assignment today is to plant the seed of a desire, and the second part is to examine how committed you are to nurturing that seed. The latter is the condition for the success of the former. In essence, they are connected in the same way as the beginning and the end are connected.
✦ Planting the Seed of a Desire
Take time today to look for answers to the following questions:
“What is the one thing for which my heart longs the most?
What is the change I want to see happen the most?
What are the things I want to manifest in my life?”
Try to formulate the essence of your innermost desire as clearly and precisely as possible, and do not be frightened if your mind tells you that it is too petty, too selfish, or too material. Do not listen to it. Instead, honour the truth of what your being longs for most right now, at this very moment in your life. This is the seed that the Spirit has brought to you and planted in the soil of your body to sprout and blossom someday.
After clearly and concisely spelling out the desire you want to nurture with your attention and care for the next 28 days, get into a comfortable position for meditation and close your eyes. Imagine this desire in the form of a small seed and hold it in the palm of your hand. You do not know how long it will take for it to sprout, but you know that you truly want to help it take root and blossom someday. So, you decide to trust this little seed. It contains the entire programme of what, how, and when it will develop into. Promise this seed that you will water it and give it warmth and light.
Since light is a symbol of consciousness, to give it light means to be an alert observer of yourself – your bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions. And warmth refers to the qualities of the heart: your commitment to the processes of growth and your efforts to move forward on your path, to take risks, and to mature.
Imagine this seed as a little spark that lands in your heart and sinks into fertile soil. Breathe in deeply and breathe out. Feel that there is something alive within you that will grow, supported by the intelligence of the Whole as to how and when to manifest in your life. Breathe in and out again; release control over its germination and growth. Feel the expanding sense of trust in the hidden intelligence of the Whole. Feel the inner peace spreading throughout your body.
For the next 28 days, you will completely forget about this seed. Instead, you will work on understanding your emotions and taking care of them. And when the last day of this lunar month comes – the 29th day – I will remind you to come back to it and check if anything has changed. Until then, however, I suggest that you do not think about it, because seeds, when germinating, should be left in peace.
✦ Another Way to Plant the Seed of a Desire
Another way to plant the seed of a desire is by dedicating it to the topic of this training – the development of your emotional intelligence. Here is my suggestion for how you might formulate that desire:
“I want to develop my emotional awareness skills and become the master of my emotions.
I want to be connected to them at all times, to hear their messages and to understand them.
I want to take care of the needs that lie behind them, just as a loving parent looks after their young child and chooses how to react to what they want.”
The term “master of emotions” may sound unsettling to some of you because it can be associated with something negative – something that oppresses, exploits, and dominates. If this word brings you discomfort, you may replace it with another one. However, I quite deliberately use this expression, and I believe that in the course of this lunar month, the reason for this will crystallise. I can only say now that it is related to the skill of containing and regulating your emotions. It is a core skill in emotional intelligence because it helps us come out of reactive behaviour and, instead of being slaves of our emotions, become their wise masters.
✦ Clarification
In addition to the visualisation I suggested, you may choose another ritual – for example, writing the desire on a piece of paper, surrendering it to the universe while meditating in front of a candle, or simply imagining the picture of how it has already materialised in your life. The form the ritual takes is not so important. What is important is to bring awareness to what your heart’s greatest longing is – to see it clearly, to name it clearly, and to clearly declare your intention to take care of this longing until it manifests in your life.
Since astrological factors have an important influence, please check whether there is a “moon void of course” on the day of the new moon and do the assignment at a time when this is not the case.
