As you work through the Program you will often come across sentences explaining that the assignment is related to practicing one emotional intelligence skill or another. Therefore, now I will introduce the five key emotional intelligence skills that will be the focus of these practices.
- Social Skills
These five key skills in turn consist of others.
For example, emotional awareness means (1) to be aware of emotions as they arise, (2) to name them correctly, and (3) to have realistic self-esteem that manifests in mature self-confidence.
Emotional self-regulation involves (1) the ability to contain our impulsive reactions until we find the appropriate time and form for their expression. It also includes (2) the ability to defer gratification, i.e. patience. In order to be able to do this we need (3) an attitude of neutrality and impartiality.
Intrinsic motivation is related to the internal locus of control. This means that (1) in order to achieve our goals, we do not depend on the support and encouragement of other people, and we can find motivation by ourselves; (2) we are one hundred percent committed to what we do; and (3) we do not give up when we face difficulties because we believe in ourselves, we are optimistic and purposeful.
Both empathy and social skills consist of the ability to apply the qualities described so far, but in relation to other people. This includes (1) being able to recognize their emotions, understand them and not judge them. Also (2) to be able to build fulfilling relationships by dealing with the inevitable difficulties and challenges in constructive and creative ways (conflict management skills). Finally, (3) being able to motivate others to achieve their goals when their own motivation is low (leadership skills).
All this helps us understand the importance of emotional intelligence. Everything outlined above can be summed up in one word – HEALTH! An emotionally intelligent person has healthy self-esteem, healthy boundaries, and healthy relationships with other people, which manifest in great physical and mental health.
Having a healthy relationship with our emotions is of the utmost importance! Therefore, if you begin to work with the Program, I suggest that you become obsessed with the desire to be an aware observer of your emotional reactions. Your emotions – your understanding and care for them – will be at the center of the Program from the very beginning to its end.
I believe that once you complete it and re-read the list of skills above, they will not be just arid concepts, but practical tools. Then you will know these skills from your own experience and how to use them to create positive changes in your life. You will have learnt from experience, and not just intellectually, why emotional intelligence is the main factor not only for our health but also for our success in life.
- You can also read the article “Emotional Intelligence and Success in Life”